Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
