You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
