so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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