Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
