What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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