no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
