Are we in a gay sports bar?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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