where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
