I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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