I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
