Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
