I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
