we have officially lost it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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