if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
