What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I party with great urgency now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
