Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
