We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
