sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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