If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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