R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
