Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
