Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Semen is not good for contacts.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
