It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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