U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
