Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
