no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
