its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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