Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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