Whats the count minus fat chicks?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
