please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
A+ Viking dick
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
