I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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