Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
