I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
