Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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