I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
