Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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