I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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