I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
