speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
