i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
