I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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