This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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