Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
