I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
