the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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