I want to make a zoo with you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
