I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
