yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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