Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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