I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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